Meeting #3102 Jan 23, 1997 PDF Print E-mail

President: Christian McGuire
Scribe: Pie'd Typer Beth O'Brien

Caught in another time distortion, President and Time Meddler Christian McGuire called the 3,102nd meeting of the year - ooops, of the Society - to order at 8:12 p.m. using a gavel presented for use by Hare Hobbs. Rob Cole was back this week and immediately moved to adjourn. Immediately ignored.

SPECIAL ORDERS OF BUSINESS: Emperor Charles Lee Jackson, II, announced with regret that the voice of Snow White had died. Also, the operator of a silent movie theater on Fairfax, the only regular venue for silent movies left in the world, was shot inside the theater, which has been closed indefinitely. Charlie shared the information that a group was trying to establish a consortium to reopen the theater. ADDITION: On January 30th, Rick Foss noted that there are several other venues for silent movies, including the Old Town Theater in El Segundo.

MENACE: Christian then called on the Scribe to "deliver the minutes in Beth Vision." The homonymically impaired Pie'd Typer blindly plunged ahead, little realizing what was ahead in the fourth sentence. When she read that Sheldon Leonard had produced "Ice Pie," the crowd first chuckled, then guffawed, and finally broke into howls of laughter. After being informed that the proper name of the show was "I Spy," the bright scarlet scribe commented that she thought she had never seen anything called "Ice Pie." CLJII (?) responded that "Ice Pie" was the one that starred Sergeant Preston of the Yukon. After the guffaws quieted down, the scribe finished the Menace. Trying to speak over the uncontrollable laughter of George Mulligan, who over-appreciated the last item reported, the President called for corrections, etc. The Menace were eventually approved as "M."

PATRON SAINT: Rick Sneary was given three lusty cheers and "don't correct the typos." Ed Green was then summoned to run a small AUCTION, not to be confused with the massive computer crap auction which would be the scheduled program following the meeting. There was no BUSINESS either old or new.

GUESTS: Registrar Selina Phanara introduced guests Stuart I. Long and Kirk Henderson, both from Arcadia. Stuart wasn't saying which friend had steered him our way, and Kirk learned about us from the BBS.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Tim Merrigan announced that tonight was the deadline for "De Profundis." Christian reminded those present that LOSCON 25 bids must be presented to the Board at its regularly scheduled meeting on the Second Sunday in February. CLJII announced the continuing availability of the January issue of "Amazing Adventures," tantalizing the crowd with a description of the contents. Christian asked Charlie to explain what a serial was for the benefit of those who might not know. The Emperor obliged, pointing out that in his serials, unlike most, the hero does not always survive - to which Matthew Tepper rejoined "The Dickens you say!"

George Mulligan interjected that it had suddenly occurred to him that a possible theme for LOSCON could be "Combat Con," featuring various aspects of military SF. Christian targeted the suggestion, aiming anyone who wants to present a military con bid toward the Board meeting in February.

Rick Foss reported on upcoming programs. Next week Tom Safer will present a program of classic cartoons, and on February 6th CLJII will host the mystery/comedy film "Sh! The Octopus" starring Hugh Herbert and Allan Jenkin. Jeff Lauby of the Jet Propulsion Laboratory will speak on the X33 program on February 13th. The X33 is the proposed replacement for the reusable launch vehicle. Jeff will talk about how it will be better than the current program and what technical problems remain to be solved. On February 20th and 27th the British series "Neverwhere" will be presented, three of six episodes screening on each evening. At the end of the program on the 27th, a short taped interview with Neil Gaiman, producer of the series, will be shown.

APPOINTIVE COMMITTEE REPORTS: Christian picked on beautiful Janis Olson first, asking her to give a report on our Moronics translation of the motion to seek federal funds for LASFS' own language. Janis announced that she had decided that some subcommittees were needed. One is the Morels, Morals, and Morale Subcommittee, with morels being the foods of fandom, morals being fannish etiquette, and morale being everything we do for fun. Matthew Tepper promptly recommended that we should appoint LASFS member Anne Morrell to the subcommittee. Janis has also determined that there is a need for a subcommittee dealing with the auction language of the club.

Charlie Jackson informed us that on Sunday there will be a Hillary Brooke film festival. He also reported on the progress of the newly renamed Ackerman Archives Committee. Technology in the field has advanced, and so instead of making half-tone duplicates of the collection at a cost of $1.25 per still he will be making color photocopies at a cost of $.50 per image. The color photocopies will be able to be scanned digitally in the future. Charles had the first 20 reproductions available for perusal by those interested. They will be set up in an appropriate book in the near future.

FAANISH COMMITTEE REPORTS: The inescapable Joe Zeff had the only faanish committee report for the evening. He told of a computer science major who was having trouble with a connection and had to be instructed about four times in every simple matter, over 15 times in five minutes. Of course, the fact that the next tech who called him happened to speak Chinese might have had something to do with the problem.

REVIEWS: Christian really enjoyed "William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet", complete with convertible Chevrolets, Baja California, and lots of guns, although it was a little bit clipped since it cut about 40 minutes from the usual length of the play.

George Mulligan found "Witch Hunt" starring Dennis Hopper, which he caught on cable, very interesting. The story is set in an alternate 1953 Hollywood in which magic coexists with technology. His only complaint was that the ending was a little too "Deus ex Machina" for his taste.

Selina Phanara recommended an article called "America 2000" in the current edition of "Newsweek" about what the new millennium holds for us. Christian summed up the Inaugural Address, reporting that it was boring and said absolutely nothing, probably a good example of what the next four years are likely to be politically. Chelsea, on the other hand, is rated quite highly by Mr. McGuire, who finds her babe-a-licious and hopes that in a few years she will have her mother's intelligence and her mother's balls.

Allan Rothstein reminded George that the character in "Witch Hunt" was named Lovecraft, and reported that there is a sequel to the film but that the title has been magically erased from his memory. He then reviewed "Everyone Says I Love You," which he thinks is wonderful and up in the top ranks of Woody Allen films. He noted that the movie is worth the price of admission just for one scene near the end where Woody and costar Goldie Hawn are singing a song on the banks of the Seine when something happens that is as magical a moment as he has ever seen on film.

Hare Hobbs reviewed Fever's Dreams by George R.R. Martin. He inadvertently set off our preoccupied President, who prefers books to laxatives, when he described the way in which the writing flowed in the book. Christian is always looking for literature which helps him flow easily.

Rick Foss reported that the current issue of "Annals of Improbable Research," which is what the librarian is reading when you can't get service, contains their Ig-Nobel Awards for Science Which Probably Shouldn't Have Been Done in the First Place. Included were:

  1. An award to someone who wanted to eat in a hurry and ignited the barbecue in three seconds using liquid oxygen;

  2. An award to a Norwegian scientist who studied how the appetite of leeches was affected by the people they were feeding on who consumed ale, garlic and sour cream. During the presentation the Norwegian ambassador walked through the crowd announcing that anyone who wished to help them continue their research was welcome to do so and passing out leeches; and

  3. The prize in biology to the people who studied the transmission of gonorrhea through an inflatable doll. They offered to demonstrate their research on stage using an inflatable doll of Richard Nixon but were nixed. Jeremy Bloom interjected to point out the irony of the fact that the impetus for the study arose from a case where the disease was actually transmitted to seamen by this method.

Don Wenner saw an art horror film, produced for a sum total of $35,000, called "Honestly, Totally, Utterly" about some fellows who dug up a corpse for the purpose of taking it home and using it for the centerpiece for their Halloween party. Don said the film was okay until the final climactic scene, when the story ran out of ideas.

MISCELLANEOUS: The Emperor noted that Sam Frank had donated two fantasy films starring Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy, an assortment of Disney and Muppet shows, and a set of "The Addams Family" TV series, all of which will be available for checkout from the video collection in a couple of weeks. The club thanked Sam with a round of applause, and Prez McGuire added a verbal acknowledgement of Mr. Frank's generosity.

Rob Cole moved to adjourn, and the meeting broke up at 9:12 p.m.

Respectfully submitted,
Pie'd Typer Beth O'Brien  

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