Meeting #3099 Jan 2, 1997 PDF Print E-mail

President: Christian McGuire
Scribe: Pie'd Typer Beth O'Brien

Three motions to adjourn were ruled out of order before the 3,099th meeting of the LASFS was gaveled to order at 8:09 pm by President Christian McGuire. Rob Cole promptly moved yet again for adjournment, with a friendly amendment attempted by Joe Zeff, but they were both put on hold. Christian welcomed all as the Ship's Captain, introducing his partner at the table as the "lovely Tour Guide."

There were two Special Orders of Business. Charles Lee Jackson, II, informed us of the death of actor Lew Ayres, known for his pacifism in World War II and his role as Dr. Kildare, but best known to fandom for his role in the movie "Donovan's Brain". A moment of silence was observed to mark his passing. Len Moffatt reported the death of Mary Hershey, widow of former LASFS Director Alan Hershey. Len praised Alan for his unique ability to run well ordered LASFS meetings while remaining calm, cool and collected. Mary and Alan were old friends of the Moffatts, and Mary will be sorely missed by them.

President McGuire asked for three cheers for Patron Saint Dan Alderson, known to new members for his memorial parking space. Dan was heartily cheered three times and granted an orbital calculation. Experiencing a bit of local time distortion, Time Meddler McGuire passed the previously unread and hermetically sealed Menace of Meeting #3098, prepared by outgoing Scribe With the Sideburns Joe Zeff, to the new Registrar - Ooops - Scribe, Pie'd Typer Beth O'Brien, with directions to read them in a cold and unsympathetic manner, following a tradition started by former Scribe Mike Glyer. The new scribe dutifully did a dark and dismal delivery that was promptly commended by former Sergeant Scriber Ed Green as the most unsympathetic reading he had ever heard. Corrections were made and the Menace were accepted as "frigid" over the fiery objections of the scribe, who wanted it to be very clear that the adjective applied to the Menace and not to the reader.

Chairman of the Board Ed Green was called on to conduct a money gouge. He declared "Nuts to you folks!" before auctioning off a bag of stale peanuts (a "frill" from the no-frills airline) and some candy.

Christian blatantly plugged Wallace & Grommet, which will be playing at the New Beverly Cinema from March 2nd through 4th along with "The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T".

Lovely and artistic new registrar Selina Phanara was called upon to introduce our sole guest of the evening amidst rousing cheers. He was Daniel Ellis Good from Austin Texas and learned of the LASFS from Rob Levin. Christian enjoined the club to give Daniel the LASFSian welcome he deserves.

The Emperor was called on to give several committee reports. Charles, donning his official LASFS Video Collection hat, reported that the collection was open for borrowing once again if anyone could get Lowell Thomas to help them hack through the underbrush to get to the tapes. He reminded us that LASFS members could borrow, free of charge, three tapes or titles at one time (maximum of five video objects at one time) for a renewable period of two weeks. Switching hats, Charles noted that the pre-meeting serial started this evening was Son of Zorro, which will be aired two episodes at a time for the next six weeks, after which he would show "Jack Armstrong, the All American Boy", who he thought went to high school with Len. Swapping hats yet again, Charlie informed us that this month's FWEMS offering, which will occur on Super Bowl Sunday, will be a Hillary Brooke Film Festival, featuring "Jane Eyre," "Invaders from Mars," "The Woman in Green," and other films featuring Ms. Brooke.

Mike Stern reminded us that the deadline for submitting nominations for 1996 Millennium Awards is the end of January and that nomination forms were back by the Registrar - Ooops again - the Treasurer. Mike, getting the respect he deserves in the form of yowls of "Fix! Fix!" from the attentive audience, also announced that the first Magic tournament of the year, a Type 1.5 tournament, will be held tomorrow night.

Tim Merrigan announced that De Profundis is done but not here, since it is still at the print shop in Santa Monica. Tim also informed us that the deadline for February's De Prof is January 23, 1997.

Mike Thorsen made a valiant effort to recruit volunteers for the cleaning party to be held on January 5th at about 2:30 pm. Mike said we needed to clean out cobwebs and moldy items and Bissell the carpet. Mike Glyer added that we could Whit Bissell the carpet by sending it back to a time when it was clean.

Christian plugged the local comic book store, now under new ownership, and said that it was clean, had new carpet, and looked the way LASFS should look. Matthew Tepper added that a parking stall usurper had promptly moved the offending automobile when the error of his ways was pointed out to him. Fred Patten announced the program he would be giving next week, which would be the conclusion to "The Slayers", the first part of which was shown in August 1996. Fred handed out notes for those who wished to attend.

Suffering again from time distortion, Christian asked Fred to hand off a copy of the notes to the Registrar - Ooops - Scribe. Fred also announced the imminent ConFurence 8, which will be held from January 16 through 19. Hal O'Brien clarified matters for Christian, stating that he is the Registrar with the gavel, Beth is the Registrar who writes, the Treasurer is the Registrar with money, and Selina is the Registrar who actually greets people. Christian put in yet another unsolicited plug, announcing that Gallifrey [One] will be hosted at the Airtel Plaza Hotel in fabulous Van Nuys from February 14 through 16. Along with a host of well known media dignitaries and stars, Gary Louie and others will put on the largest fannish LEGO train demonstration ever in the history of the world. George Mulligan asked how one goes about training LEGOs and was informed that it's done with a whip.

Still suffering from time distortion, Christian announced the evening's program as a presentation by Herr Doctor Professor Lynn Maners, but was informed by CLJII that that program will occur in two weeks and Charlie will present a vague movie for about an hour tonight. The Emperor then hawked an annual subscription for Amazing Adventures for $35.

Greg Bilan informed those of us interested in blatant sexism on weekend TV that there will be a Xena and Hercules convention at the Burbank Hilton on January 11th and 12th. Matthew Tepper informed us that Joseph Conrad's "Nostromo" will be airing on PBS this coming Sunday, Monday and Tuesday and that the female lead is his new sister-in-law. Hare Hobbs reported contacting Steve Barnes in Vancouver, WA via E-mail to enquire whether Steve had floated out to sea.

Faanish Committee Reports were begun by Joe Zeff, who noted that the Rose Parade floats could be seen from his office if only he weren't working in the middle of a rain cloud. He also gave one of his ceaseless Computer User Too Stupid to Live reports about a client who called first to get assistance in moving a file into a down-loaded Windows 95 folder, called again to get the password he hadn't recorded when it was given to him, and called again to find out how to get connected when he didn't realize that finding Earthlink's home page on Netscape meant that he had gotten connected. Joe commented that three calls from this guy in one day was four calls too many. Claiming to be able to bottom that, Mike Stern reported an incident of a top technician at his company who was beeped by a top executive while showering because a keyboard wasn't working. Getting dressed and rushing downtown, the tech was informed that the zero key didn't work. The problem was solved when the tech suggested pressing the <Num Lock> key. Christian noted that techs have poor hygiene because they're always called out of the shower too soon.

Eylat Eleasari began reviews with a compliment to Earthlink on their patience when she was in the role of stupid user. She also noted that AOL is unloggable since implementing its new fee structure. Although easier to use than Earthlink, Eylat finds the limitation of being able to log on only before 9:00 am or after 11:00 pm a bit exasperating. Eylat, a former opponent of Windows 95, loves it now that she has it.

Charles Lee Jackson reviewed an item in the Tournament of Roses. A giant Bride of Frankenstein sat up and waved at the crowd with a broken wrist. Shortly before the float started to move, the wrist had cracked and fallen off. Charlie found this highly appropriate, noting that Dr. Pretorius' stitching needs work. Rob Levin gave a summary of 1996, an incredibly boring year in which people died and were born, books were read and written, and politicians said things. He then reviewed the pickle, to which Christian commented that he felt completely double Polinered and Bruce Pelz kibitzed "Who let this Gherkin?" while taking his leave.

Christian noted spotting someone with LACMA stickers on his body, and directed the fan to a light pole which the club is attempting to completely cover with said stickers. Quoth Christian: "Please take your sticker off and Stick It!"

George Mulligan liked Lancelot Big: Space Man by Nelson Bond, which harks back to an era when science fiction was written for fun instead of deep meaning. Christian recommended The Dilbert Principle by author Scott Adams, noting its applicability to fandom.

Mike Stern reviewed Firebird by Mercedes Lackey, which is very good with a Russian theme. Mike Thorsen reviewed the New Year's Party of Last Resort, reporting that it was smaller than last year but remained non-Magical and was enjoyed by all who attended. Christian and Nola concurred. Daniel Good reviewed a new computer game named "Star Control Three", which he described as excellent.

The Emperor reported viewing 214 films during 1996, 150 of them for the first time. The films ranged from the 1929 release of "Rio Rita" to the 1996 release of "Phantom". Bob Null reported that "TV Guide"'s Web site was currently featuring every Trek cover they had printed available for download in picture format. Christian suggested using the pictures as Windows wallpaper. Mike Stern reported disappointment with the film "Jerry Maguire", which he finds has marvelous acting but a very superficial, not to say missing, story line. Christian McGuire waxed eloquent about the suitability of John Brunner's book The Atlantic Abomination for bathroom reading.

Rob Cole again moved to adjourn and the meeting ended at 9:10 pm.

Respectfully submitted,
Pie'd Typer Beth O'Brien  

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