Meeting #3111 Mar 27, 1997 PDF Print E-mail

President: Christian McGuire
Scribe: Pie'd Typer Beth O'Brien

President Christian McGuire, armed and dangerous (to the Scribe's cassette recorder), pounded the gavel four times to call the 3,111th meeting of the LASFS to order at 8:12 p.m. on March 27, 1997. Rob Cole moved to adjourn, Matthew Tepper moved to adjourn radioactively, and the Prez tabled both motions for lack of seconds. When all the moving, tabling and seconding of numerous variants of starting or stopping the meeting was finished, the self described unfortunate President tried to label the Scribe as suffering. When the Scribe refused to suffer, Rob Cole moved that the club suffer the Scribe. The motion was seconded and carried unanimously, unless that lone quack heard in the distance was a dissent.

Not quite ready to suffer the Menace yet, Christian called on Matthew for a different type of suffering, a SPECIAL ORDER OF BUSINESS. Matthew informed us of the death of fan Seth Goldberg from the Bay area, best known to fandom as one of the Hugo Administrators. Seth's death was very sudden and unexpected: Ed Green sat at a table with him at a banquet on Sunday, when he appeared perfectly healthy. Seth contracted a stomach virus which resulted in rapid heart failure. Ed and Joanne Dow also announced the death of author Martin Caidin, who wrote Cyborg, the basis of the TV show "Six Million Dollar Man," and other well known science fiction works.

Now that the atmosphere was sufficiently gloomy, it was finally time to suffer in earnest. Pie'd Typer Beth O'Brien read the MENACE, which were approved as a hot and steamy pile.

Deciding that there was a need to lighten things up, Christian announced that tonight's PATRON SAINT is Sue Haseltine, who received three lusty cheers and a "Thank you for helping with the library for so long." The Prez then temporarily lifted the ban on AUCTIONs for the purpose of obtaining revenue for the parking spaces. Ed Green gouged a respectable $55.28 from the crowd.

BUSINESS: Bob Null reported that the Board of Directors had voted to replace the carpeting in both buildings and asked for volunteers to assist with moving furniture in and out of the buildings. GUESTS: Acting Registrar Joyce Sperling introduced our only guest, tonight's speaker Chris Butler.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Ed Green verified that Sam Frank has been nominated as Fugghead of the Year and is in the lead with 10,000 points. Magic the Gathering is in second place, Rob Cole in third place, and Christian McGuire in fourth place. Ed Green reminded the group that the prize for winning the contest is a speech by the second place winner. Matthew Tepper promptly started chanting "Ed for Number Two!" Someone in the crowd nominated Ed and everyone took up the chant. There was an exchange of official salutes (demonstrations by Ed upon request), and then Ed announced the availability of his fanzine, "Minor Deviations," which included a foursquare demonstration of stapling technique. Christian announced the filming of "Jonny Quest" as a live action film in which Sean Connery has been cast as Dr. Benton Quest and Leonardo di Caprio will play Johnny. Rick Foss noted that the band "Boiled in Lead" will be performing in town next weekend. Rick will give more details next week about exact venues. Greg Barrett announced an e-mail fanzine named "Zocalo," which he thinks is one of the two best sources of information about "Babylon 5." Mike Donahue briefed us again about Tra La La Con, noting that David Gerrold will be here Saturday afternoon, April 26th. Membership is $10.005 before the con, $12.34 at the door, and the banquet is $3.00 or pot luck adjudged of equivalent value by Mike or Joyce. Dan Deckert passed around cards with his various e-mail addresses to fen interested in keeping in touch. Dan may be reached at:

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APPOINTIVE COMMITTEE REPORTS: Rick Foss told us about upcoming programming. There is no program scheduled for April 3rd, Fred Patten will host a presentation of the "Best of Japanese Animation" on the 10th, Victor Koman, author of The Jehovah Contract and Kings of the High Frontier, will speak on April 17th about the effect of the Internet on publishing, and on April 24th Tom Safer will host a cartoon show. Emperor Charles Lee Jackson II announced that the Memorial Day weekend FWEMS program will feature war movies, including "War of the Worlds," and June will feature "Put up Your Dukes" day. Mike Thorsen noted that there will be a work party at the clubhouse on April 6th for general cleaning as well as preparation for the installation of new carpet. ADDITION: Tim Merrigan informed us that the current edition of "De Profundis" is here and should be picked up by those present to avoid postage costs.

FAANISH COMMITTEE REPORTS: Mike Stern reported that no less a source than "The New Times" has declared that Magic players belong to a cult. (Noted CLJ: That would explain the purple hoods!) Mike also shared stories about prosecuting attorney Luke Skywalker and rare coins imprinted with the likeness of Count Vlad Dracul, minted in the reign of the grandfather of the count of noted memory, who didn't mint any coins himself. According to Dale Hales, Sonny Boy was too busy staking out territory. Joe Zeff shared the tale of a client who couldn't make a modem connection because he had set the program to cancel the call if not answered within zero seconds. Loren Wilton reported that, at his 12th parole hearing scheduled for today, Charles Manson requested that he not be paroled because he's too busy with his website. Keep those tax dollars coming, folks! Ed Green apprised us that a new addition to the required reading list for army officer cadets at West Point is Robert A. Heinlein's Starship Troopers, news which was greeted with vociferous applause.

REVIEWS: Christian read a book entitled Armor, author unremembered, which he found so good he had to finish it in one day. He described it as a good mystery/suspense piece about war in space. Rick Foss touted a story by Greg Benford appearing in this month's edition of "Science Fiction Age" about a habitat in Africa in which human beings can experience being animals through microchip technology. Techno problems: you can't tell whether other animals are real or inhabited by fellow humans, and the protaganist pair of tourists get stuck inside a pair of chimpanzees and can't get out. In Rick's opinion, this is the best story Benford has ever written. Christian thought that might explain the literary production of monkeys at the typewriter. Rick responded that if every redneck in the world were to take shotguns on the same day and go out and shoot up all the highway signs, you would get all the great works of literature in Braille. Matthew Tepper noted that he had just read a Benford novel with exactly, he did mean exactly, the same idea. Matthew was disappointed with the book, entitled Foundation's Fear, which is one of the continuing Foundation series books authorized by the Asimov estate.

MISCELLANEOUS: Frank Waller spotted an announcement in "Quest" that they are casting for "Star Trek IX." Sandy Cohen observed that the second version of "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea," soon to air, has to be better than the first, which aired last Sunday. CLJII reported watching one of the "Chicago's Sons" episodes recently. He noted that the principal characters represent an interesting genetic experiment: there are three apparent brothers, one of whom is obviously Jewish, one of whom is clearly gentile, and the third of whom is obviously the son of Briscoe County Jr. Matthew observed that what that means is that one is Jewish, one is Italian, one doesn't talk, and one is uninteresting.

Rob Cole was recognized, and we ADJOURNed at 9:06 p.m.

Respectfully submitted,
Pie'd Typer Beth O'Brien  

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