Meeting #3109 Mar 13, 1997 PDF Print E-mail

President: Christian McGuire
Scribe: Pie'd Typer Beth O'Brien

President Christian McGuire called the 3,109th meeting of the LASFS to order on March 13, 1997 at 8:14 p.m. Rob Cole moved to adjourn before the auction. A second was received, and then the Guy with the Sideburns, Joe Zeff, moved to table the motion until the end of the auction. The motion to table lost many to few, and the assembled fen then voted not to adjourn yet.

There were no SPECIAL ORDERS OF BUSINESS, so the Prez called on Pie'd Typer Beth O'Brien to read last weeks minutes in dulcet tones. The scribe complied, reading the MENACE in a lyrical, mellifluous, melodious, musical, silvery and sweet manner. Joe Zeff suggested the removal of the scribal editorial comments explaining the striking of Sam Frank. The scribe denied the request, choosing to exert the motherly manner for which she has long been recognized and afford what little protection might be possible in the situation to the beleaguered Christian. Despite the honeyed delivery and the motherly demeanor, the minutes were approved as touched - IN THE HEAD!

PATRON SAINT Gavin Claypool was introduced by Christian, with a note about the many years during which he confused Gavin with Galen Tripp. The members gave Gavin three dissonant cheers to alleviate the smaltzy atmosphere and gave Christian 64K of memory so he won't make that mistake again. A short AUCTION was held, with Christian acting as the boisterous auctioneer.

BUSINESS: Christian reported on the Board of Directors' meeting held last Sunday, noting that the Board had authorized the expenditure of up to $2,000 for new carpeting, which will be dark brown with just enough speckles to hide stuff. The theory is that carpet the color of dirt will only require vacuuming, and look better than the current gray stuff that shows all spots in perpetuity. Christian also told us that at the beginning of the meeting there was only $8,000 in the treasury, which changed when LOSCON 23 passed on $15,002.66. A hearty round of applause was given to the cheap SOB - no honeyed or mellifluous stuff there - who had chaired the LOSCON 23 committee.

The following motion amending the Standing Rules was presented to the club (NOTE: no copy of motion given to scribe, this is straight off the tape, please correct as necessary):

MOVED: That we add the following sentence to the administration section of the Millenium Awards in the Standing Rules: "The Board may, at its discretion, cancel the Millenium Awards in any year where fewer than three categories have enough nominations to be considered." The full wording of the administration section will now read as follows:
The LASFS Board of Directors shall appoint an Administrator of the Millenium Awards, hereafter the Administrator. All paperwork regarding the Millenium Awards shall be funnelled through the Administrator. The Board may remove the current Administrator at any time for sufficient cause. Whenever the office of Administrator is vacated, the Board shall appoint a new one. The Board may, at its discretion, cancel the Millenium Awards in any year where fewer than three categories have enough nominations to be considered.

Discussion ensued. The motion was put to a vote and carried many to nothing with two abstentions. The motion will be voted on again next week, as required for a change to the Standing Rules.

While a search committee was sent to look for Registrar Selina Phanara, Christian McGuire noted that the Library was looking for book sponsors to purchase items desired by the Librarian for which there are no funds available. Coincidently (Ha! Ha! Ha!), Bruce Pelz is offering a 40% discount on the books listed, and all donations will be welcome to supplement the Library collection. Mike Donohue reported that there are now flyers for Tra La La Con - Singapore Girls? - which will be held in April. David Gerrold will attend, the Moffatts are Fan Guests of Honor, and Selina is the Artist Guest of Honor. A medieval banquet will be held, pot luck or $3.00 admission, with live entertainment. It was noted that Joyce Sperling wants to chain Selina Phanara to the wall (applause, applause.) The shamelessly self-promoting scribe will be running around in a cook outfit. GUEST: Registrar Selina Phanara announced that there were no guests tonight. ADDENDUM: Guest Carole A. Sperling from Hawthorne, CA., who learned of the LASFS from friends, attended the meeting but arrived too late to be introduced.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Joe Zeff reported that tomorrow is Pi Appreciation Day, which is celebrated at 1:59. Many stunned looks and grunts of "Hunnhh?" elicited an explanation from the Guy with the Sideburns: On 3/14 at 1:59 Pi Appreciation Day is celebrated. Members whose geometry teachers had not struggled in vain groaned in delayed appreciation. Joe went on to announce that the annual Bulwer Lytton Contest for Bad Opening Lines is up and running. The final date for submissions is April 15th. See Joe for the website address. Rick Foss announced upcoming programs; there were no changes in the schedule since last week because Rick's been too busy for this stuff. A grateful scribe declines to recap items listed in past minutes. Emperor Charles Lee Jackson, II, announced that the March issue of Amazing Adventures is available - see him. A new comic strip featuring Hector the Gila Monster starts in this issue. Len Moffatt reported that there will be a one day Sherlockian/mystery type con held in the clubhouse on March 22, 1997, sponsored by the Blustering Gales of the Southwest.

COMMITTEE REPORTS: Mike Stern reported the expected results of the fixed Magic tournament: he won, to his great enjoyment, and Drew Sanders came in second. CLJII announced that the 20th anniversary of occupancy of the current clubhouse is approaching near the end of the summer and a banquet, probably catered by Chef's Takeout, will be held on the premises to celebrate the occasion. Attendance will be limited, and members are urged to buy tickets early once the date and price are decided. Charlie noted that he has seen 78 films so far this year and that FWEMS this month, programmed by Matthew Tepper, will feature films of Alfred Hitchcock. Joe Zeff rose to announce that, as of Second Sunday, the Committee to Nominate Guess Who as Fugghead of the Year had collected $87. Joe had also received a letter from Sam Frank telling him what Sam thought of him. Joe said he was going to say what he thought of Sam publicly by donating the remaining $13 needed to bring the total up to the amount required for Ed Green to consider Sam's nomination. He noted that the committee was proud to report success and then requested that the President drive a steak through its heart, provided only that it be Porterhouse.

FAANISH COMMITTEE REPORTS: Still holding the floor, Joe reported on a customer who had difficulty seeing the choices on the menu bar until Joe had him read them aloud. The homonymically sympathetic Beth O'Brien informed the group of a school which erroneously announced "Tee-Shirt Appreciation Day" instead of "Teacher Appreciation Day."

REVIEWS: Hare Hobbs enjoyed a two CD set entitled "Space and Beyond" by a Czech orchestra which features @10 minutes of space sound effects in between themes from various series and movies. Hare noted that the sound effects might be useful for costumers planning masquerade entries. Rick Foss gave the current edition of "Fantasy & Science Fiction" a glowing review. Three authors were commissioned to write stories based on the cover art and came up with three different types of stories: one is a comedy piece, one is a legitimate science fiction piece, and the third is a horror piece. Rick noted that this is one of the last editions to come out under the editorship of Christine Catherine Rush and is a really worthwhile edition. George Mulligan reported that Compaq Computer is considering changing a command from "Press any key" to "Press Return key" to take the strain off their tech support people, who have trouble trying to tell customers where the <ANY> key is located. Still won't work, George. Most return keys are labeled "Enter."

MISCELLANEOUS: Hare Hobbs shared Steve Barnes's unmercifully complicated web page address: Frank Waller announced goodies for sale. Don Wenner informed us that he has been training to be a docent at the Autry Museum of Western Heritage. The connection with SF? Some of the people there are really spaced out. As part of the training process, Don has to give four tours with about five people in each. If any member is interested in a free tour, see Don while he is still in training. Michelle Sparr announced a job opening at JPL for anyone with five years of software testing experience.

Rob Cole moved not to adjourn, seconded by Joe Zeff. The motion failed many to two, and the meeting was adjourned at 9:15 p.m. or thereabouts - I forgot to write down the time.

Respectfully submitted,
Pie'd Typer Beth O'Brien  

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