Meeting #2741, Feb 22 1990 PDF Print E-mail

 by Matthew B. Tepper, Not-Seagate

Two taps of the magic gavel sufficed to call us to order at 20:21. The Menace of the previous week got read and corrected, and corrected, and corrected, causing the Scribe to cry out, "Did I get anything right?" The Menace were then acclaimed Approved as Wrong. We were off to a fine start.

Registrar Galen Tripp introduced us to four guests, some from way out-of-town: Vince Callaghan from Grand Rapids, Michigan; Janice M. Eisen from Schenectady and co-habitant Ken Meltsner, who said on his green card that SF is his life; and Harry Lineda from nearby Sun Valley.

Bruce read the Treasurer's report, with the welcome news that we'd had no expenses the week before; let's do that again, shall we? At this point the Dais Duo were pelted by chocolate chip cookies, which left little chocolate chip welts. Ouch.

A masked Leigh Strother-Vien explained that the dust and pollen in the Library had caused her allergies to act up, slowing down the inventory a bit. (Jack Harness added, "Malathion spraying will continue with the letter `M.'" And Galen Tripp said that the dust and pollen were due to the Librarians working like busy little bees.) The inventory was still turning up some nice items, including autographed volumes by Heinlein, Murray Leinster, and E. E. Smith. And given that the computer room computers are named Frankenstein, Dracula, and the Wolfman, Leigh has decided on a name for the library computer: The Bookie Monster! Bruce said we'd be taking applications to replace the Librarian -- in about two years.

Charles Lee Jackson II committee'd that next week's program would be "The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T," a LASFS favorite. The Serial Subcommittee would be closing out the Zorro serial and starting up a Fu Manchu serial. Other near-future items include a triple-bill of the "Toxic Avenger" films. And as Engineering committee, he thanked club members for answering the telephones.

Sandy Cohen reminded us of CBS' late-night showing of "The Prisoner." Galen, as Committee to Keep the Clubhouse Clean, was annoyed that staples are getting into the carpet in various places.

Under Surrealism in Everyday Life, Francis Hamit showed us an ad in Space News (a new periodical) about a Soviet organization with reps in Houston advertising their boosters with, "Need a ride?" And a Stupid Crook held up one of his neighbors, blithely unaware of the videocamera that recorded everything, including his car's license plate.

Romania Report: Fred Patten read in New Scientist that the British Parliament had stripped Nicolae Ceausescu of his honorary Knighthood while the deposed Romanian dictator was trying to flee the country. Talk about hitting a man when he's down.

Ed Green quasi-quoted everyman's dream date, Nadia Comaneci, as taking the whole credit for the Romanian Revolution, because she's the most important thing the Romanians have. So what? An Islamic court ruling in Egypt deals with the delicate issue of marriage between humans and genii; Larry Hagman had better stay out of Egypt. The Anaheim police are taking some flak for the initials of their new SWAT team: Tactical Apprehension Control Officers. And a company in Czechoslovakia will be manufacturing vibrators for a firm in Teaneck, New Jersey. "If they were producing inflatable women," Mike Glyer observed, "they'd be making rubber Czechs."

Misty Johnstone said she'd be doing her UFO show at Leprecon in Phoenix over Easter weekend.

Sam Martinez, the Committee for Collecting Stamps, showed off some newly-acquired space stamps and dinosaur first-day-covers. The Scribe displayed a new US Postal Service stamped envelope with a hologram of a space station. Joe Zeff told of a horse-race held in thick fog, where the winner was suspected of not having run both laps.

Judy Lazar stepped up and read several item descriptions from some weird mail-order catalogues: A dowsing rod, a fuel magnetizer, and a TV antenna that actually pulls signals out of the air! Wow! The killer line is that it's legal in all 50 states.

Allan Rothstein took a report from a witness whose name was spelled, Rabih Kantar. I don't think this witness is Canadian. Francis said he had read a hotel's incident report in which a trespasser claimed to be "The Rainbow Warrior." Sounds like someone who doesn't have an even keel.

Larry Niven, impeccably attired, recounted an incident from the Boxboro party at last year's worldcon in Boston. Seems that a hotel officer assigned as liaison didn't read all the fine print in the contract, and was amazed to find a certain clause therein. The party's oversized props needed to be cut up when the party was taken down, and she was quoted as saying, "I can't believe I let you use a chainsaw at 4:00 in the morning!" Take that, Anaheim Hilton!

Karl Lembke read an article from the Los Angeles Times in which readers gave their opinions on alternatives to the gas chamber for executing murderers. Some embraced the Chirpsithra doctrine, "Cruel and unusual crimes call for cruel and unusual punishment," while a Mr. Thomas G. Digby of Los Angeles suggested that killers be stomped on as though with 50-ton cement weights. President Pelz read the Digby quote verbatim, while Digby hid in the Apa L room.

Ed Green reported on the amusing intelligence that the drug war may be enlisting the help of caterpillars to eat the coca leaves. Jack Harness said the coca-growers are already stocking up on insecticide. CL added that the coca-growers intend to see the caterpillars in the US. Said Bruce Pelz, "Always a few bugs in the system."

From Mike Glyer came the sad news that Arthur Thompson, also known as ATom, had died Feb 8, at the age of 63. The Scribe was directed to write his next of kin.

On to happier news: Bruce Pelz led the congregation in cheers for St. Maureen Garrett. Three cheers and a vroom vroom, the last courtesy of Charlie Jackson.

Reviews: Kyla saw "Nightbreed," and though she found it only "middlin'," still felt a bit spooked. She went to a frozen yogurt shop and took a number, and the slip said, "B00." "When I get home," she recalled thinking, "the dog goes in first." Said Bruce, "I thought you stopped dating dogs." "You animal," growled Kyla.

Doug Crepeau read out a favorable review from Starlog of "Wizard of Speed and Time." Rick Foss said a band named Dread Zeppelin does reggae covers of Led Zep numbers with a 300-pound Elvis impersonator on vocals. He also said that Asimov had edited a book of Feghoots entitled Bred Any Good Rooks Lately?, and called it a good bathroom book, suitable for throwing against the wall.

Allan Rothstein enjoyed CostumeCon 8 in Ontario, California. Attendance was just under 900, including a woman named Animal X whom the hotel staff was apparently reluctant to page. A lifetime service award was given to our own Marjii Ellers.

Francis reiterated his praise of The Playmaker, saying that it was still selling for only 98¢ at Waldenbooks. He enjoyed fantasy and Australian elements, and says it's highly recommended. Galen Tripp found a real page-turner in Grass by Sheri S. Tepper, with a different treatment of human-alien relationships.

Ed Green had a tale about the wrap party for "Dick Tracy," in which a blooper film showed that director-star Warren Beatty had a Bad Attitude about the great work of art he was creating. If industry insiders are right, this flick may be Madonna's fourth consecutive bomb -- "fifth if you count Sean," added Charlie.

Peter Greenwood had seen a silly Japanese movie about turning down the heat of the sun. He also reported that Dan Curtis has commenced work on "Return of Dark Shadows," and Bill Bixby was at work on "She-Hulk." Quipped Sylvia, "If she turns green, she's okay, but if she turns pink, she's pregnant." Finally, Peter advised us of a live-action "Thunderbirds" which may be brought to us by the makers of "Max Headroom." Jack Harness reminded us of the upcoming release of "The Hunt for Red October," and gave us the watchword: "Up Perestroika!"

Announcements: Bruce Pelz noted receipt of a thank-you card from Susan Haseltine and Mike Frank, for the club's sympathy flowers. He also reprised his announcement of the LASFS Garbage Sale, 24-25 March, you bring it, you sell it, you keep the dough, but pay a buck for four linear feet of space with an eight-foot limit. That limit may go up if there are few participants.

Konrad Wilk had read the original book, Les liaisons dangereuses, on which various films had been based, and found it more involved than the best-known one. A newly-returned Contessa announced that she was back, and gave a comparative review of last year's Bay Area Earthquake, saying she found it rather bouncy. "I'm collecting them," explained Sylvia. Well, she can stop collecting them as far as I'm concerned!

Peter said that Universal had been destroying a lot of prop molds, but he managed to save some of them, including those for the feet of the Creature from the Black Lagoon. And with that rubber-tipped remark, we auctioned off the remaining parking spaces, and stood adjourned at 21:30.  

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