Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull PDF Print E-mail
Joan and I went out to the movies last week, which was a good excuse to sit in a building someone else was air conditioning.  We decided to see the new Indiana Jones movie.

Indiana Jones and
the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

A Review

By Karl Lembke

 

What can I say?  It's an Indiana Jones flick. Park your brain outside the door.  Pay no attention to the man doing violence to the laws of physics. Have some popcorn. It's just a movie.

 

Indy is looking for treasure which happens to have great power of some sort, and Evil Bad Guys are trying to find it to use for their own Evil Bad Guy purposes.  In this episode, Indy is approached by "Mutt", the son of a friend of his and asked to help find a crystal skull so he can ransom his mother away from the Evil Bad Guys.  Unwilling at first, Indy's lured in by the puzzle on the letter Mutt gives him.

 

There follows a series of adventures and misadventures, including any number of events which should have killed outright anyone caught in them.  (Lead is not what you want for neutron shielding.  There's a reason why so few people have survived going over Niagara Falls in barrels.  Etc.)

 

The Evil Bad Guys are one-dimensionally Evil (and Bad) (though one of them is not a Guy).  They shoot their way through the natives who are defending holy sites, for example. 

 

And of course, it wouldn't be an Indy movie without fantastic ancient technology, like the temple whose cyclopean (oh, what a Lovecraftian choice of adjectives on my part!) machinery works flawlessly after centuries of exposure to the jungles of Peru.  I'm sorry, after half a millennium, those parts should have been anchored in place by vines, if not pulled down by more vines.

 

Nevertheless, perhaps because of the immense power lodged in the temple, or more likely because it's in the script, these ancient mechanisms open when needed, and Indy, his companions, and the Evil Bad Guys see firsthand the answer to the secret of the Crystal Skulls.

 

Oh, and don't forget to retrieve your brain on the way out of the theater.

 
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