Is There really A Santa, Fe? PDF Print E-mail

Regretfully, of all the cities in the US, we moved to the ONE city that's a suburb of a city 60 miles distant! Santa Fe NM, the City That Doesn't Exist.

Film at 11.




After leaving the LA area, Karen and I moved to Albuquerque for a year to take care of her dad after her mother passed away suddenly (right after the Whittier Narows Quake in 1987 - I doubt the two are connected).


That's a story in itself. I'll tell it some time. That's a threat. We moved to San FranDon'tCallitFrisco where we lived for eight nearly blissful years. In 1989, I got a computer, a Commodre 64 3/4ths and joined the world of BBSing. Ah those were the days. 1200 baud modem, hard drives daisy chained throughout the house and Commodore Graphics. Gotta love it.


But All Good Things Must End and we moved first to Livermore, then to Livermore (not a typo, we relocated in the same city) and around that time I visited LASFS again. this time with my Guide Dog in tow. Or I was in tow. She walked faster than I did. Then to Antioch California. THEN, just as we were running out of money the housing bubble burst. Yaay. 


Running out of dough and hope, Karen had a job offer in... you guessed it... Santa Fe.


Santa Fe is somewhere in New Mexico. Or so I hear. You CAN find it with effort. Just look inthe phone directory under A for... ALBUQUERQUE!  Yeah, Santa Fe is a sixty mile distant suburb of ALBUQUERQUE.  Capitol City? Fuggedaboudit! The United States' oldest continuously inhabited city? UH-uh. Artist Mecca? Naaaaaah! it's INVISIBLE!


Seriously.  A city's 'personality' is reflected in its architecture. Santa Fe homes are based on the old Spanish hacienda. A central courtyard, the house in a square doughnut configuration around it and a high wall surrounding the whole schmear. In other words... "GO AWAY!"  It's a curled up culture in a curled up city in a curled up state! The sidewalks are 'scenic' or 'authentic' which means you can go upstairs, downstairs, back upstairs and jump over a chasm, all in six feet. That's because most of the sidewalks in the central areas are brick.


Being a non-driver, I have to stick to Shank's Mare  or take the Ha Ha Bus. I call it the Ha Ha Bus because to call it a real bus line would be... well, laughable.  Yeah there's a bullet train to ALBUQUERQUE. There HAS to be. ALBUQUERQUE (yes I always capitalize it. It's so much bigger!) is the REAL city that Santa Fe is part of. If it weren't for ABQ (abbreviated because I'm tired of heariung myself yell) Santa Fe wouldn't exist. The City Different we call ourselves. How about The City Disappeared? Rod serling would have loved Santa Fe. It's Spanish for Holy Faith. The dictionary definition of faith  is "The belief in something that is not materially evident to the senses". Yeah that's about right.


being lonely and not finding many friends nearby, I went to the MeetUp page on line. I searched on MeetUps in Santa Fe. YES! There ARE Science Fiction groups in Santa Fe! They meet in ABQ. The santa Fe chapter of the birding group...  ABQ. I got onto the MeetUp list for book club readings. In ABQ. EVERY Santa Fe listing in the MeetUp page listed ... *sigh*  OK, try something different... Back online, I hit metal detectors (another hobby) We Santa Feans could join the New Mexico treasure Hunters' Association... in ABQ.  Santa Fe has an "Airport Road"... but no airport. That's in ABQ.


When I wanted to find a good doctor... ABQ. LARPing? We drove the 120 mile round trip once a week because the Santa Fe Live Action Roleplaying group was in... Yeah. 

Still... the crowning glory... the creampie in the face of existence...  You cannot mail something FROM Santa Fe to someone else who is also in Santa Fe.  Not directly, no. You drop your letter in the postbox, happy in the notion that it will go right to the person you are addressing it to.. It arrives.... over a week later... with an ALBUQUERQUE postmark!


I feces you not.


I've finally figured it out though. It's all the fault of Roswell! When that saucer crashed (Oh sorry.... weather balloon) It transformed the state into one gigantic tesseract! With ABQ in the MIDDLE!  Nothing and no-one else exists.  It's all ABQ. 


Just what I need. I live in a tesseract next door to Texas.



Living in Albuq... er... Santa Fe.... I think.
Last Updated ( Friday, 15 March 2013 )
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