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LASFAPA: A Small APA of Incredible Pretensions

The Official Organ of the Los Angeles Scientifiction Fans' Amateur Press Association

Still being published in 2013
Marty Cantor: Little Tin God of the Stannous Church of LASFAPA
LASFAPA website

Paper APAs exist in all sorts of periodicities, from yearly through weekly. For most people, a once-a-year APA has too little interaction and a weekly APA is Just Too Much. LASFAPA strikes a happy balance 'twixt these two extremes -- it is put out monthly. In fact, it has been put out monthly for every month of its existence.

As Little Tin God, I consider the making of the deadlines the most important part of my job. Another part of my job is to input a steady stream of smartassery. Hence, the pseudo-religious (and punnish) tone to Wurlitzer, the Official Organ of the APA wherein can be found the rules, regulations, current table of contents, and other officious stuff. What the members put in their zines is their own business; however, as a comment-oriented APA, any member's business rapidly becomes everybody else's business.

HOW TO JOIN
OR GET FURTHER INFORMATION
OR A COPY OF A RECENT ISSUE

Run, don't walk, to your nearest link to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it , and I will be glad to provide you with what you need. LASFAPAwise, that is. Relevant sections of Wurlitzer have been uploaded to this site and should answer most of your questions. However, it you need more explication or have questions about something not covered (such as my printing costs and policies if you need to know that because you do not want to print and mail your own zine to me), just send me an e-mail posting and I will respond.

If you want to get a copy of a recent posting (I cannot guarantee that it is current but it will be as current as I have) just send me $2.00 domestic, US$3.00 out-of-country (which will cover disty, envelope, and postage).

The Tin Commandments

1. Copy count for LASFAPA is 16.

2. Deadline for each mailing will be the second Friday of each month at 11825 Gilmore Street, #105, North Hollywood, CA, 91606, USA. Locally delivered copies can be handed to me at LASFS -- on Thursday -- before 9:00 p.m. Copies can be left for the LTG in the De Profundis box at LASFS (which is where I will leave disties on the Thursday after collation); however, as I am at LASFS on Friday nights at 7:00 pm, I can pick up zines for collation at that time - but try to get to LASFS no later than 8:30 pm. Regular Saturday mail is very unreliable. Therefore only Special-Service (such as FedEx and the like) delivery which will be delivered before Noon will be accepted on Disty Day Saturdays. Please let me know in advance if you are sending me something which will arrive on Saturday morning because, if I am unaware of potential deliveries, I will finish collation as soon as I receive the last zines which I am expecting.

3. Minac is two pages every other distribution (every third distribution for overseas members).

4. The Little Tin God will act as agent for preprinted, Uncollated zines. The Little Tin God will also print zines for members; however, if you want him to print your zines you absolutely MUST have the originals to him before he leaves LASFS on the Thursday before deadline -- and before 5:00 p.m. on Thursday if you are sending him your zines electronically.

5. Copies of Wurlitzer will be distributed to waitlisters -- if we ever get back to that point. Waitlisters and others may purchase copies of disties for a mere 50 cents (plus envelope cost and postage).

6. Dues are now $6.00 per annum. If a member drops during this period and then rejoins, new yearly dues must be paid upon rejoining. The practice of constantly joining and dropping is discouraged.

7. Whilst we prefer standard 8 1/2 x 11 paper, overseas members can submit the nearest equivalent size. No bulky inclusions will be accepted.

8. LASFAPA has a roster limit of 25 (Hah!) -- we encourage members to proselytize.

9. All ootie members are to have an account with the LTG to cover costs of printing (if needed) and postage.

10. Minac credit will only be given for zines originated for, or first appearing in, LASFAPA. Members may contribute or frank what they wish, but these zines will not count toward minac and must be of acceptable size.

Revelations
(slightly tweaked for the online reader)

1. Things do not always remain the same with the Little Tin God. Ergo, these rules will change from time to time. But your Little Tin God will continue to speak in his old, god-like tones. Any resemblance 'twixt god-like tones and smartassery is entirely intentional.

2. As in the past, I am amenable to giving Grace -- if there are good reasons for doing so. Unlike in the recent past, the most deadline pushing I will agree to is Special Delivery on the Saturday after deadline, and only if I am notified of this impending delivery in advance; anything that gets to me on this Saturday will be placed at the end of the disty. A caveat on Saturday delivery of regular mail: as it has become so erratic that delivery times vary 'twixt 1:30 pm and 5:30 p.m. do not count on Saturday delivery being worth much -- for me to meet the 3:00 p.m. mailing deadline at the Post Office, I am using Noon (with only FedEx, etc. more or less guaranteed morning delivery) as the deadline for things to get to me; after that, it is in the next disty. Deadline pushers run the risk of not-nice things happening to them. Praying will not help, nor will preying.

3. The Stevie for [the current month] goes to [member name] with [obscenely large number of] pages.

4. Your account is now ______. If there is not enough money here for printing/mailing/etc. for the next disty, do not expect this semi-impecunious LTG to carry you. Send funds post haste. [If this were a real copy of the APA, a number would be written in the blank space.]

5. If there is a mark in the space at the end of this revelation, bye-bye -- you are off the roster, you will not get the next disty, and you will have to join another religion. Unless you beg absolution and Do Something Real Soon Now (or even earlier) -- like sending a zine for the next issue. Or money. ____ [If this were a real copy of the APA, a checkmark might or might not be scrawled in the blank space.]

6. Praying for rain (or snow) will get you absolutely nowhere with me. So there. I do all of the preying around here.

7. Please Note b>Speaking In Tongues, the section wherein I will list edresses of any member who wishes me to do so. Please let me know if you wish to be listed. [This section does not appear on the web page. Hey, if you're so crazy to get our email addresses, sign up with the APA awreddy.]

8. Please note ICONOGRAPHY, the section which is a listing of LASFAPA saints. LASFAPA saints are those members who die whilst members. As you can see, it is easy for any member to become a saint -- all that you have to do is up and die. Well, it will guarantee continuing membership without the payment of dues (and really minimal minac)-- but what is the postage to wherever you are?

9. All zine transfers at LASFS should now take place by handing them to the LTD in person as he no longer has mailbox privileges.

10. $6 Yearly Dues due in _____.

11. Please note the last two sentences in Tin Commandment No. 2. Even though we have shrunk to our pre-celebration size, it has gotten to be too much of a hassle trying to get to the Post Office for the 3 pm pick-up if I have to wait until when the mail might show up. Therefore, as the various Special Delivery services promise before-Noon Saturday delivery, this gives me an extra hour and a half more than I had when I accepted regular Saturday mail delivery. But you have to let me know of this in advance. Deadline pushers be warned!

12. If anybody receives a disty where zines of more than 2 pages without page numbers are mis-collated, they should blame only the creator of the zine who did not number the pages. Also, those who provide pre-printed zines should check to see if they are properly printed before sending them to the LTG (and "enough copies" are part of this definition).

13. The LASFAPA fiscal year begins with the September disty. As our treasury is adequate, dues will remain at their current level of $6.00 per annum.

14. Please note the COPY COUNT OF 16.

Deities
1. Harry Andruschak: OE, #1-#8
2. Marty Cantor: Little Tin God, #9-#64
3. David Schlosser: Little Sin God, #65-#173
4. Robbie Cantor: Little Snow God, #174-#199
5. Matthew Tepper: Grand Old Duck, #200-#214
6. Robbie Cantor: Little Snow God, #215-#246
7. Michael Mason: Little Gold Deity, #247-#274
8. Marty Cantor: Little Tin God, #275-present

Iconography
1. Saint Mike Wood
2. Saint Seth Goldberg
3. Saint Gary Louie
4. Saint Michael Mason
5. Saint Vanessa Schnatmeier

Honorary Saint
* Bruce Pelz

Glossary

1. Fandom -- While a garden variety "fan" could be any follower, devotee, or admirer of any sport or diversion, "fandom" is, for lack of a better word, the tribe that develops around that particular sport or diversion. In the case of LASFAPA we're talking mostly science-fiction fandom, but other fandoms may overlap, e.g., animation, art, cult movies, gardening, music, convention running, gaming, history, and gratuitous silly jokes.

2. Fanac -- FANnish ACtivity. What fans do within their particular fandom.

3. Little Tin God -- The name Marty Cantor has chosen for himself as Official Editor (mailing manager) for LASFAPA. Each new editor has the privilege of choosing his or her title based on their deepest inner desires. (See the List of Deities above.)

4. Stevie -- An "award" given to the person who produces the largest number of pages for the APA in a particular month. Named after Steve Tymon, known logorrhetic, who once ran a several-hundred page zine through the APA. Amusingly enough, immediately after producing that extinction-level zine, Steve made his first professional fiction sale to Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine -- for a short-short story.

5. De Profundis - The monthly newszine of the LASFS, which contains abridged meeting minutes, notices of events of fannish interest, and sometimes letters written to the club. Called De Prof for short.

6. Disty -- Short for "distribution." Technically, for most of the membership LASFAPA is mailed and not distributed, as in "distributed at the LASFS meeting." But it's more fun to say "disty" and so sometimes we forget.

7. Wurlitzer -- The collected Table of Contents, lists of members, notices, and rules, and administrative trivia that leads off every mailing of LASFAPA. Why "Wurlitzer"? Because it's the Official Organ. Well, you asked.

8. LASFS, or the Los Angeles Science Fantasy Society. The oldest continuously meeting science-fiction club in the world. The LASFS has served as the incubator for many well-known writers, artists, and editors. It has also fostered a community of people who devote time, energy, and money to pursuits of fun and sometimes profit in the general field of fantasy and science fiction. In other words, it's a collection of professionals, geeks, weirdos, and some cheerfully normal people who just like to read and discuss literature and other media, and to amuse themselves by applying analytical techniques to things not meant to be analyzed. Once you're a member, Death Will Not Release You.

9. Finally, if you're interested in fan history and terminology in general, try The Fanac Fan History Project, specifically the Reference section.

Now goeth thou, bow down, and pray hard. Very hard. It will not do you any good.

Last Updated ( Friday, 02 August 2013 )
 





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